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 Bancuri

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Daniel
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PostSubject: 86   Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:13 am

Idea - O circulara de la politia albaneza:
"Ajutati politia - Bateti-va singuri"...
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Daniel
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PostSubject: 87   Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:13 am

Arrow - De cati albanezi e nevoie pentru a monta un bec?
- De nici unul!
- De ce?
- Pentru ca nu au inventat inca curentul electric!
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Daniel
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PostSubject: 88   Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:14 am

Neutral Ce e galben si cauta in pamant un albanez care cauta o bomba , ce e galben si zboara un albanez care a gasit o bomba .
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Daniel
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PostSubject: 89   Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:15 am

What a Face Alinuta observa la strand diferenta dintre ea si un baietel.
Se duce intr-un suflet la mama ei si-o intreaba:
- Mami mami... De ce nu am si eu asa ceva intre picioare?
- Rabdare, copila mea, rabdare...
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Daniel
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Level: 4

PostSubject: 90   Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:15 am

Like a Star @ heaven Alinuta: Hai, taticule, lasa-ma sa ma joc cu bunica.
Tata: Nu se poate Alinuta.
A: Te rooooog.
T: Bine, daca insisti, dar sa stii ca e ultima oara cand o dezgrop.
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Daniel
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PostSubject: 91   Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:18 am

Suspect Vine Alinuta acasa si-i gaseste pe toti plangand.
- Ce ati patit mai?
- A murit bunicu...
- Cum asa?
- Pai, sa vezi... l-am adus sa vada si el casa. Era pe balcon si s-a daramat cu el.
- Si a murit bunicu!
- Nu... a cazut, da' s-a prins de tocu' de la geam... a alunecat si iar a cazut...
- Si-a murit bunicu!
- N-a murit mai... a picat in copacu' din curte...
- Si a murit bunicu!
- Nu...a fost catapultat pe acoperis, de pe care a alunecat si a tras toata tigla dupa el...
- Si a murit bunicu!
- Nu... ca s-a prins de burlan... da' s-a desprins cu el cu tot... si a ajuns la etaju' 2... da s-a rupt cu el si a picat prin tavan la etaju' 1...
- Si a murit bunicu!
- Nu, mai... s-a rostogolit pe scari pana la parter...
- Si a murit...
- N-a murit mai... da' l-am impuscat noi ca ne darama casa...
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Daniel
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PostSubject: 92   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:32 am

I love you Alinuta:
- Mama, daca o sa fiu o fata cuminte cind o sa fiu mare, o sa am si eu un sot?
- Da, fetita mea.
- Si daca nu o sa fiu o fata cuminte?
- Atunci o sa ai mai multi...
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Daniel
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PostSubject: 93   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:32 am

@ Alinuta: Mama! Tata! Veniti repede ca s-a spanzurat frati-miu in garaj!
Vin parintii alarmati dar nu vad nimic...
- Ce vrei tu proasto, nu e nimic aici!
Alinuta: Pacaleala de 1 Aprilie, s-a spanzurat in pod!
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Daniel
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PostSubject: 94   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:33 am

cyclops Alinuta: Mama, am obosit, mai e mult pana la bunicuta ?
Mama: Taci si sapa!
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Daniel
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PostSubject: 95   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:33 am

clown Alinuta: Mama, la usa e un nenea care strange donatii pentru azilul de batrani.
Mama: Bine, dai-l pe bunicul.
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Daniel
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PostSubject: 96   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:34 am

pirat - Alinuta , fii draguta si fa-i o baie fratelui tau.
Dupa vreo juma' de ora tatal intra in baie ... Alinuta il tinea de urechi pe fratiorul sau si il tragea prin apa.
- Alinuta, mai pune mana si mai freaca-l si tu.
- Ce-ai innebunit, vrei sa ma oparesc?
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:59 am

Nişte copii somalezi se jucau de-a faţa-ascunselea. La un moment dat, unul dintre ei zice:
- Ha, ha, te-am văzut! Ieşi afară de după mătură!
- Nu-i cinstit, m-au împins ceilalţi afară!
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Florynbz
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Alignment:
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Level: 3

PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:00 am

Bula si Strul vor sa treaca granita spre Ungaria,dar fara sa-i prinda vamesi.
Bula:Strul baiete am un plan bun,iar tu faci ce fac si eu.
Strul:-Bine ma!
Bula trece granita noaptea si vamesi ii auzira.
-Stop cinei acolo!
-Miau,miau,miau...!!!
-A,e doar o mata.
-Vazusi ,Strul ce trebuie sa faci.
-Da!
Strul trece granita si vamesi:
-Stop cine-i acolo!??
-Inca o pisica!
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:01 am

Bula si Bulangioaica erau casatoriti de 25 ani. Intr-o vineri, Bula vede sub pat o valiza.
- Ce e cu valiza asta?
Se rosi Bulangioaica un pic si zise:
- Dragule, trebuie sa-ti marturisesc ceva. Deschide valiza. Deschide Bula valiza si inauntru erau: trei cartofi si 50.000 de dolari.
- Ce e, fa, cu cartofii astia?
- Dragule, de-a lungul casniciei noastre, de cate ori te-am inselat... am pus un cartof in valiza.
- E, lasa ca nu-i asa rau. Dar ce e cu cei 50.000 de dolari?
- Pai, de cate ori am adunat un kil, l-am vandut.
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:01 am

culmea lacomiei:sa mananci bataie si sa nu te mai saturi!
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:01 am

culmea nesimtirii:sa scrii pe coliva "la multi ani!!!"
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:02 am

culmea auzului:sa auzi cum se crapa de ziua!!!
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:02 am

bula: doamna invatatoare eu sunt prea destept pentru clasa intai eu vreau intr-a treia la sormea in clasa invatatoarea: trebuie mai intai sa treci de un test de la director ;
bula:foarte bine (bula nu a fost atent doar la mate ) directorul:cat face 3x3
bula:9
directorul:6x6
bula :36
directorul:foarte bine poti sa mergi intr-a treia invatatoarea :lasati-ma pe mine sa intreb
bula ce am eu doua si o vaca 4?
bula:picioare
invatatoarea:si ce ai tu in pantaloni si eu nu?
bula se gandeste si raspunde : buzunare!
directorul:foarte bine trebuie sa mergi in clasa a5a
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:04 am

Bula se duce la tacsu` si ii zice
Tata da-mi si mie 5 lei!
Tatal: Cati? 4? Ce sa faci tu cu 3 ? Nu-ti ajung 2? Na la tata 1!
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:05 am

Intr-un lift stau o blonda desteapta,una proasta si Mos Craciun
Jos e un portofel doldora cu bani.Lumina se stinge,iar in
cateva secunde se aprinde din nou,dar portofelul nu mai e.
Q:Cine a luat portofelul?
A:Aia proasta,ca Mos Craciun nu exista iar blonde destepte nici
atat...
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:06 am

Doua blonde la dus: - Da-mi, te rog, samponul tau! - Dar ai unul langa tine... - Stiu, dar asta e pentru par uscat si eu am parul ud!
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:07 am

De ce au blondele scris un A deasupra patului? R: Sa nu uite textul in timpul orgasmului!
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:07 am

: Intr-o benzinarie, o tipa se uita derutata la pompe si murmura: - 95? ... 98? ... 95! ... 98! ... Vazand-o pierduta, un angajat al benzinariei se apropie si o intreaba: - Cu ce va pot ajuta? Cu o raza de fericire in privire, tipa raspunde: - Benzina din 2007 aveti?
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:08 am

O blonda sta foarte concentrata in fata oglinzii.Incepe sa se atinga pe fata ,pe nas,isi pune mana pe frunte,isi trece mana prin par.Dupa vreo 10 minute o striga maica-sa de pe hol:Raluca!!! La care blonda isi da cu palma peste frunte -Asa, ma, Raluca ma cheama!!!
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Florynbz
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:08 am

Un roman si un ungur se duc la pescuit,dupa ceva vreme unul prinde pestisorul auriu.
-Lasati-ma inapoi si va indeplinesc la fiecare cate o dorinta.Primul incepe ungurul:
-Pestisorule cunosti Marele Zid Chinezesc?
-Da
-Ial si inconjoara Ungaria ca nici o *** de roman sa nu mai intre.Ia pestisorul zidul si imediat inconjoara toata Ungaria.
Vine randul la roman.
-Pestisorule Marele Zid Chinezesc are ferestre?
-Nu.
-Are usi?
-Nu.
-Atunci umple-l cu apa.
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